Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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