i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
