I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
