I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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