And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
