All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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