Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
