Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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