Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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