Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
