dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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