Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
