i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
