he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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