Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
