A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
