You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
