dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
