If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
