If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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