a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
