I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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