dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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