could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
