so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
