This is not my ceiling
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize