The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
