I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
