spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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