Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
