I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
