That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
