and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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