We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
