you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
