Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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