Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
