And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
