She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize