ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
