Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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