He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
