doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
