Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
