he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Randomize
