I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
