i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
