Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
