you would pick up someone in the library
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
