Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
