Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
that's an acceptable place to lick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
