Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
