You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
