omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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