Whod you bang
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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