You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
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I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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