She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
