Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
