So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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