In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
