Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize