i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
this is an emotional support booty call
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
