I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He felt like a one man threesome
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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