dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
