Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
