i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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