All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
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is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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