Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
